A Carnivore Swashbuckler
I have had a very unique career. I was a sword-fighting comedian who performed more than four thousand shows in sixteen countries around the world at Renaissance festivals and USO shows. I have done stunts in live stunt shows and have generally abused my body. This, I thought, was the cause for my debilitating knee, ankle and shoulder pain that plagued me daily. I went on to become a motivational speaker who is still very active on stage using whips and nunchucks to convey my message. The pain only increased.
I have always struggled with my weight my entire life and have been “successful” in losing weight on a myriad of diets. I tried Herbalife, Vegan, Natural Hygienics (Fit for life), 60 day juice fasts, slim fast, and more. My brother being celiac, I went gluten free. After eventual failures with them all, I decided I must be “allergic” to carbohydrates. I got rid of sugar and sweets from my diet, but my weight still ballooned. I went Keto and saw limited results, but I was still in a lot of pain.
My weight continued to increase. My health declined. Topping out at 362 lbs at 6’1” and 55yrs old. I started not being able to tie my own shoes (so I bought slip ons). If I sat down on the floor it was a painful struggle to stand. I became less and less mobile. I would wake every morning with horrible headaches that would last for hours. I struggled to breathe. I went to the doctor. He told me he thought I had a blood clot in my left leg. Several medications and tests later, he told me its not in my leg, but possibly in my lung. After that proved wrong he told me I might have congestive heart failure, then lung cancer. After many more tests and more prescriptions he decided it was all sleep apnea. I got a CPAP machine and the headaches went away. The pain persisted. I lost faith in modern medicine that shoots in the dark trying to treat symptoms rather than causes.
In the summer of 2019, I went to the beach with my fifteen year old son. We have a jeep and go to a secluded beach to get away from the crowds. The water was a little rough that day and I couldn’t catch my breath while in the water. I decided to get out. I caught a wave to shore a body surfed all the way to the sand. Once there I almost couldn’t get to my feet. After a very painful struggle, followed by dizziness, I got scared. I wasn’t scared for me, but for my son. I realized I was potentially putting him in a scary situation. If I had collapsed in the water, he never would have been able to get me out. If I collapsed on the shore, he wouldn’t be able to get me into the Jeep and at fifteen doesn’t drive. I apologized to him that day and promised I would lose the weight. I searched for solutions for months. I was then inspired to do a google search for, “carbohydrate allergy diet” and quickly found the carnivore diet and decided to give it the thirty days that everyone suggests.
As of today, I have been on this way of eating for twenty four days. I have lost twenty five pounds. The spot of eczema I have had on my face completely disappeared. My dandruff has completely stopped. Most miraculously, in my opinion, all of my ankle, knee, and shoulder pain have completely gone away. I am so grateful for the carnivore diet. I can say that it didn’t take 30 days for me to decide to continue. I am going to the beach this summer fearless.